God speaks. And He speaks to us in many different ways. Last night, he spoke to me through my husband, and this morning, he spoke to me through the devotional book I am reading by Beth Moore, entitled, David 90 Days With A Heart Like His. I went through this study a couple of years ago and decided a few days ago to do it again(which I also believe was God's leading). I have been struggling with a fear that I ruined a friendship of mine. That I did too much, said too much, didn't respond correctly. I was talking to my husband about it last night through many tears brought about by shame, remorse, and fear. He helped me to see that I was beating myself up for not being perfect.
I will readily admit that I am far from perfect, but oh man, when it comes to relating to others I want to be. I don't want to offend someone or hurt their feelings and I have never liked confrontations. I just wanna be liked. But the fact is...I fail. And not only that, but not everyone is going to like me. *screams in horror*
So this morning I opened up my devotional book and read the following from Beth Moore: "I never fail to be encouraged by Christ's heritage. How do you respond to the fact that the only perfect person in Christ's genealogy is Christ Himself? To me, Christ's flawed family history serves as a continual reminder of the grace of God in my life. In my human desire for perfection, I want to be so good that I need no one and no thing. It may surprise you to know that this desire grows from a biblical base: the tower of Babel. The tower pictures graphically our human drive to take God's place."
Oh God, forgive me for wanting to make my life work without You. I want to rebel against my perfectionism. And I am going to symbolize that rebellion by dressing with an edge. It will be a good reminder for me throughout the day when my pull will be to go to shame. Thank you, Father, for Your grace.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus (Rom. 3:23-24).