It's a rainy Tuesday morning and I am sitting on the back porch with a cup of coffee and the dog cuddled up beside me. Listening to the thunder in the distance and the rain hitting the ground. Listening to God. I just read these words from Ravi Zacharias, "Unless we live with the eternal in mind while addressing the specifics of each day, we will live as temporarily suspended, with faith always seeking sight."
It isn't very easy keeping faith without sight. I try to look for God in the ordinary. The ways that he is present that I too often ignore. Like right now. Watching this thunderstorm. Evidence of God's presence.
And yet, I want more.
I would like him to intervene. And intervene in the way I want. Richard Foster talks about a path of promise, problem, provision. That in between the promise of God and the provision of God, he brings problem. And he brings problem so we can become the kind of people that are able to receive his provision.
And yet, I don't want the problem. I'm kinda tired of the problem. I want good feelings.
I remember being a young girl and hearing this song called "Feelings". Anybody else remember that song? "Feelings! Woah, woah, woah....Feelings!"
We live in a world consumed with feeling good. If it feels good do it, if it doesn't feel good, don't. Because everybody should feel good.
Satisfying the desire for feel-good feelings. It fuels teenage rebellion. Prompts a mid-life crisis. Encourages a spouse to be unfaithful. Sets in motion addictions...porn, alcohol, drugs, shopping, food, exercise, work. And after we have exhausted all our attempts to feel good, we are left not feeling very good.
So here I sit with the problem rather than trying to escape the problem. I will wait for God's provision rather than trying to arrange for my own. And I will remind myself of your promise, God, that I come from you and I will return to you.